Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
