Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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