That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
