My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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