so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
