You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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