I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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