How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
