Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I cockslap morals
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
