I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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