i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
