like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
