Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
people are starting to question the shark bite story
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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