pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
