I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
