Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
