I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
