Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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