I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
