I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
foreskin is a definite game changer
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
