Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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