I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
