Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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