it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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