we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
