Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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