He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
