Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
