if i can run in heels then i can drive
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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