My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
