her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
