Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.