it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.