So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Vodka?
Forever.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
