Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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