I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
how drunk are you?
Several
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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