chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
