I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
