Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
