I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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