We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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