glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
