I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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