Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
pray to the hookup gods
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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