Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
