You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
