highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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