Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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