brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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