would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
