i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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