tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
