Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
