my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
