I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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