The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
