it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
be right there i have to get my cape
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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