quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize