Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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