The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
