I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize