You're so nebulous sometimes
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
